


Finding Grace

by Akita_J



Category: Glee, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Merlin (TV), Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Reincarnation, Self-Harm, fallen angel kurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-08-28 02:17:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8427082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akita_J/pseuds/Akita_J
Summary: Over 1000 years after Lucifer was locked in the cage, he finally felt regret for his actions. He could feel the guilt building up inside him for killing so many of his brothers and sisters without a good reason. While he still loathed humans and probably always would, he realised something so insignificant should not have started him off on a rampage. Lucifer was given a choice. Either he could wait however many millennia for the seals to break or he could be sent into the human reincarnation cycle and regain his memories and a small portion of his grace when the 66 seals break.  When the final seal broke Kurt felt a searing pain in his head while he was bombarded with memories from multiple human lives and the life of the most feared angel, as well as gaining a portion of his grace. Now Kurt has to find his lost grace in order to save those he loves from his current life and all the incarnations before it. WILL HAVE OTHER FANDOMS THAN THE ONES LISTED, BUT THOSE ARE THE ONLY ONES IMPORTANT TO THE STORYLINE.





	1. Prologue part 1 Life as Lucifer

It has been 1000 years since Lucifer had been locked into the cage. When he had first gotten there he had been outraged that his own father would choose his 'pets' over himself. However after 1000 years of solitude it gives a person time to think. Lucifer cried. If he had been stronger the mark of Cain would not have influenced him as it did. Lucifer felt so guilty over the deaths he caused. Now he could not wait to get out of the cage and let Mikey kill him. Who cares if half the human population dies in the process. Lucifer knew he had to die to repent for all the angels he had killed.

"Please just kill me now..." Lucifer whispered to no one in particular, while taking out his angel blade attempting another useless attempt at killing himself. He watched as his grace bled out of his self inflicted wound, only for the wound to heal up 5 minutes at most after he created the wound. Lucifer continuously cut himself until he gave up knowing whatever he did would never work. Lucifer dropped his blade, curling himself into a ball crying himself into a sleeping state.

G-d continued to watch Lucifer, feeling slight remorse for putting his son through so much pain, but he could not allow Lucifer to be freed, because then there would be chaos. Then G-d had an idea and grinned to himself. He knew how to force his son to forgive himself, while at the same time not begin the apocalypse as soon as he is released. G-d then began his last and final creation. Two human souls who could tether Lucifer down. Two human souls where at least one of the souls would be reincarnated with Lucifer's if Lucifer chose to join the human reincarnation cycle. What shall he call these two souls. G-d decided that he would call these two souls the righteous men. One of these two men or women will be the first seal to break the cage.

G-d thought back to before he entrusted Lucifer with the mark of Cain. G-d thought if anyone could handle such a burden it would be Lucifer. Lucifer had always been the kindest of all his sons, even if he could be a bit mischievous at times. Lucifer was always the one who would stand up for the younger angels when they would get bullied by Zachariah and Rapheal. He remember when the little fledgeling Castiel would hide behind Lucifer and Gabriel for protection, not that Castiel would remember any of that. 

G-d did not realise his mistake until it was much too late. He had caused Lucifer's betrayal and it was proof that even the purest of angels would be consumed by darkness when exposed to the mark's evil temptations.

G-d approached Lucifer's cage.

"Son", G-d said in his thunderous voice.

Lucifer looked up to where his father was his eyes red and puffy from crying.

"Father", Lucifer whispered. "Why are you here? Are you not worried I'll go mad and hurt you too?"

"Lucifer. Are you feeling guilt?" G-d asked sternly.

Lucifer nodded in shock, not having the mental strength to say anything.

"Then I have a proposition for you." G-d explained, "You can either go through the human reincarnation cycle and learn to love humans or you can wait millenia for all the seals to break."

Lucifer looked at his father as if he were insane, but thought about his response before he said anything too offensive to the one person offering him his freedom.

"While I do not think I could ever love a human, I will try for the sake of redemption." Lucifer said his voice still hoarse from crying.

"Good." G-d said. "But first things first. Removing the mark."

"Thank you. " Lucifer said as he fell to Earth with a gentle smile feeling at peace with himself for the first time in over a thousand years.


	2. Throughout the Lifetimes Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally planning to write all the past lives in one chapter, but it's gotten pretty lengthy with just 3 lives and it is taking way to long to finish and I really want to post something.

Around 1000 CE

A Time of Myth and Magic (Merlin)

In Lucifer's first life he was the daughter of a swordsmith. As Guinevere he never thought that he would be anything other than a peasant and he was happy with that. As a commoner Guinevere was able to accomplish much more than if she was a nobel. Nobles were expected to act properly in public and all noble women were good for was being sold off to the best husband their fathers could find. Guinevere was quite content and happy that she would be able to find love without the influence of politics.

When she became the handmaiden of Lady Morgana she found here thoughts on nobles were pretty accurate. Morgana quickly became her best friend around the castle. While it was an unspoken rule that the help and the nobles did not associate themselves with one another, Morgana never really cared about that and would speak to her on an equal level. She could tell Morgana was upset about how the kingdom was being run. By the time Merlin arrived in Camelot Morgana already hated King Uther, so what Merlin did to her may have been the final straw, but Morgana was already a lost cause before Merlin tried to kill her.

Guinevere was heartbroken when Morgana betrayed the kingdom. She was her best friend, but now Arthur was her husband and she would not let Morgana, friend or not, kill him. She had known Arthur the same amount of time as she had known Morgana. When she first met Arthur she had hated him, but as he got older he became a great king, and somewhere along the way she fell in love with him. When Arthur died Guinevere lost all hope. She no longer wanted to live. She did not want to live in a world without Arthur or Lancelot. She would have succeeded in killing herself if it weren't for Merlin stepping in. He reminded Guinevere that the kingdom needed her and that Arthur would never want her to hurt herself like that. So for the rest of this lifetime Lucifer spent the remaining time he had as Guinevere ruling Camelot in the way Arthur would have wanted it.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
1580 CE - 1596 CE The Fall of Neo Verona (RomeoXJuliet)

In his second life Lucifer was once again a girl, but this time he was born as a noble. In this life his name was Juliet and he was the princess of Neo Verona. Neo Verona was a country that floated in the sky above the clouds, sustained by the tree Esculus. In this life Lucifer lived peacefully and happily until Juliet turned three. On the night of Juliet's 3rd birthday. On this day Juliet's parents and brothers died. That night Juliet was thirsty so she went with her handmaiden Cordelia to get water. As she passed her parents room she found that the door was open a crack. Juliet heard a thud. She goes and peaks into the room just as her father, Lord Capulet, was slayed by Lord Montegue. The knights, Conrad and Curio, make sure she and her six year old handmaiden were safe.

Conrad and Curio took Juliet and Cordelia to William's theatre, where the four of them would live up until Juliet turned 16. Juliet had no memory of the events that took place that night and would never remember until the night of her 16th birthday. As Juliet got older she was forced to dress as a boy and she went by the name of Odin. When Juliet turned 13 Lord Montague had become impatient in his hunt for the last Capulet. He started sending out his knights to kill anyone who had the slightest suspicion of being the Capulet girl. Not long after that the Red Whirlwind arose. The Red Whirlwind took up arms against the Montagues by stealing from the rich to give to the poor and protecting Neo Verona's citizens. The Red Whirlwind was Juliet's idol, much to the dismay of Conrad. One day Juliet decided to follow the Red Whirlwind all over town. Whenever he would turn around to check if he was being followed Juliet would hid behind something. Eventually they entered a alley way with no hiding spaces.

"Okay, kid. Why are you following me?" The Red Whirlwind questioned.

Juliet pouted. She thought she was being very sneaky and the Red Whirlwind just smirked in response.

"I want to help in the fight for justice!" Juliet exclaimed.

"Sorry, kid, but this is not a game and I will not let a little boy with no training go out and fight. That would be a one way ticket to death." The Red Whirlwind said.

"Then train me", Juliet said, "Because I will go out and fight with or without your training."

"Fine but I won't go easy on you kid."

"Good", Juliet said, "And my name is not kid. It's Odin!"

"Okay, Odin. Tomorrow meet up with me in this alleyway."

After a year of fighting at The Red Whirlwind's side Antonio joined them in their fight. A year later the Red Whirlewind was stabbed by one of Montague's soldiers and escaped to what they called their alleyway and fell to the ground.

"Odin... if In die here... Promise me... that The Red Whirlwind won't die..."

"Please", Juliet exclaimed, "You can't die."

"My name is Arthur... tell my brother Lancelot what I did so he won't be left wondering how I died..." As he said that he passed on.

(A/N While Arthur is the same Arthur from Merlin just reincarnated Lancelot is an actual character in RomeoXJuliet and is not the same Lancelot from Merlin)

Juliet was the Red Whirlwind for a year and did a lot of good for Neo Verona. One day she was chased by soldiers into a dead end. She thought she was dead for sure until a noble showed up and saved her on his dragonstead. That was how she met Romeo for the first time. Romeo and Juliet fought through many hardships to be together up until their deaths when they sacrificed their lives to the tree escalus to save the people of Neo Verona as the country fell from the sky.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
June 1, 1670 - March 14, 1701 Deals With The Devil (Historical Fiction)  
In Lucifer's next life he was a man named Ryan Walker. Ryan was born in Salem Massachusetts in his parents small home. Ryan led a pretty normal life. He did not particularly have any enemies, but no one really knew him either. By the time Ryan had turned 13 he had already known he liked men. This scared Ryan, since a man liking another man was considered devil worship, so he cut himself off from the rest of the colony. People started to suspect something was off about him by the time he was 18, because he was still unmarried. That year a man named Eric Winchester came to the colony with his wife Moira. Eric was a gay man, but due to society he was married to Moira.

Eric and Ryan met on Ryan's weekly trip into town. Eric and Ryan hit it off really well and eventually Ryan fell in love with Eric. Eric convinced Ryan that the only way they could be together was if Ryan got married so no one would suspect anything. Ryan being madly in love with Eric agreed and married a woman named Amanda Anderson. Amanda knew that Ryan was gay and dating Eric, but it didn't really bother her. Amanda's brother Kyle was gay, so she knew it must be hard for Ryan to hide it. 

"Hi Eric", Ryan said lovingly as his secret husband came to his home.

Eric smiled lustfully at Ryan before kissing him.

Ryan pulled away and smirked. "Why don't we go inside, so no one can see us?"

"That's fine with me." Eric said while smirking, "This way I get your perfect ass all to myself."

"Eric!" Ryan exclaimed embarrassedly.

Eric just smirked and pulled Ryan inside. What the two of them didn't know was that Moira had followed Eric suspecting he was being bewitched by Amanda, but when she got there, and saw her husband with Ryan, she was sure that Ryan had bewitched him. Eric stayed next to him on his bed hours after they did the deed. The two of them were holding each other, while their clothes were haphazardly thrown across the room. Suddenly Ryan heard noise coming from outside his room. Next thing he knew he was being grabbed by two officers claiming that he bewitched Eric.

"Eric!" Ryan pleaded, "Please tell them it's not true!"

"Shut up! You Lying witch!" Eric exclaimed, "I should have known what you were as soon as I met you! You seductress!"

"Eric, please!" Ryan exclaimed while crying, "Please believe me!"

Ryan looked into Eric's eyes and he saw no love, just apathy and lust.

Next thing he knew Ryan was waking up in a cell chained to the wall. Ryan shivered. He was sitting on the cold ground in the dead of winter without any clothes on. Ryan cried. How could Eric do this to him. He should have never trusted Eric. G-d, he hoped Amanda was alright. While he would never love her like he would a lover, he did however love her like a sister. Ryan tensed as he heard foot steps approaching the cell.

"Ryan..." Said a caring voice.

Ryan closed his eyes. He did not want anyone he knew to see him like this.

"Ryan", the voice said, "Please look at me."

Ryan slowly looked at the man who was speaking to him.

"Kyle." Ryan whispered seeing Amanda's brother. Then looked away ashamed of how he looked at the moment.

"I hate seeing you like this." Kyle told him honestly. "Amanda and I have a plan to get you out of here but you have to trust us."

Kyle the pulled out one of Amanda's dresses.

"When I get you out of here put this on. The officers will be looking for a man without clothes. They would never suspect you to be dressed as a woman."

Ryan nodded as Kyle released him from the shackles. Ryan quickly dressed and left Salem with Kyle and Amanda. For the rest of his days Ryan took up the name Lilly Anderson the wife of Kyle Anderson.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard chapter to write, since when I first started writing this I had only thought of a few past lives for Lucifer.


End file.
